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Monica VanKlompenberg ANSC201 Expecting a B Anonymous 12/15/2025	I don't know how her rating is so high. Every assignmnet, lecture, or exam is extremely unorganized. She does not provide constructive criticism, and when a student asks a valid question, she either answers very passive aggressively or in the most vague way possible.
Monica VanKlompenberg ANSC201 Expecting an A- Anonymous 12/07/2025	In elder days, when hope still burned like flame, A seeker crossed the threshold of the hall Where Dr. VK, of wide and fearsome fame, Had chained together twins that should not fall. Anatomy and Physiology, proud and free, Were forged as one beneath her iron hand. Yet from that union sprang calamity, A realm of function built on shifting sand. She spoke of currents, pressures, nerves that fire, Of hormones dancing wild through blood’s domain, But never named the bones, the flesh, the wire That hold the living engine in its frame. We sailed the tides of life without a chart, Ghosts chasing ghosts through organs never shown. Each system hung, a disembodied art, A heart that beat, yet had no ribs of stone. Her grading fell like lightning without law. Two parchments, word for word, yet fates apart. One earned her nod, one felt her hidden claw. No rubric carved, no compass, rule, or art. In silence sat the goddess of the grade, Her mood the wind, her whim the only scale. While supplicants in terror watched and prayed, Lest favor flee and sudden judgment fail. The weeks crept slow as winter over stone, Then cracked like whips when spring at last arrived. A thousand slides in minutes overthrown, While half the hoard untouched, unlearned, survived. We scratched and gasped. The projector’s glare Still mocked us with its final, cruel tableau, A dragon’s trove beyond our strength to bear, And time, the thief, that would not let us know. The homeworks came, long dungeons without light, Tedious chains I forged through starless nights. I bled my soul on every vein and rite, Yet woke to scarlet wounds from unseen blights. Beside me grinned the lazy and the sly Who summoned answers from the silicon shade. Their demon-scrolls, untouched by human eye, Returned all crowned with perfect scores displayed. The tests, O gods, were hammered on Hell’s anvil. A hundred torments crammed in half a glass. The pages turned beneath a frenzied scramble. Our quivering hands could scarcely hold the mass. No hero born of mortal blood and bone Could slay that beast before the death-bell rang. Half-finished leaves, a harvest overthrown, And Dr. VK’s cold silence as it sang. So ends the tale of one semester’s doom, A subject bright made bleak by mortal flaw. I sought the wonders of the living loom, Yet found a wasteland ruled by whim and awe. O Dr. VK, your reign has left its scar, A heart once eager, now forever torn. Unbind the twins. Let each alone go far, Lest every class that follows die unborn. Let future bards retell this bitter song Of brilliance crushed by chaos and caprice, Of knowledge lost, of grading ever wrong, Of promise murdered in pursuit of peace. And may the gods of learning hear my cry: Give Anatomy its body, Physiology its soul, Lest noble science, strangled, breathless lie, And students break beneath the thankless toll.